I found this as I was cleaning up old files on my computers. This is an absolutely terrible story I wrote in early 2003. Enjoy.
(Two posts in one day? When will the madness end??)
dave: a story
morphine: mhm
dave: hmmmm
dave: long long ago in a small novelty store far far away...
dave: a man named jack was about to meet his destiny
dave: you see jack wasn't a particularly small man, nor an especially large one. in fact you might just call him moderately sized
morphine: average maybe?
dave: no, never average for jack was anything but!
dave: (except in size, personality and dental habits)
morphine: ah
dave: jack was there on a quest given to him by john, downsville tire king extrodinare, to find the golden gun of little flags that say 'bang'
morphine: uh huh
dave: jack, being a knight of the rubber table (voted best michalen salesmen 3 weeks running)
dave: took this quest with extreme graveity
dave: what he hadn't counted on however were the evil swarming death commision-salesmen!
morphine: of course
dave: quickly he was surrounded by hoards of them, leeching cash like small lawers, all demanding his attention
dave: during the battle to fend off their advances and expensive warenty plans jack scumbled to a well placed sales pitch
morphine: scumbled?
dave: it was messy, his walet was open and his visa was already maxed out (it's a word)
morphine: uh huh
dave: it was time to use he secret weapon, you see jack wasn't your average knight of the rubber table (voted best tire salesmen 3 weeks running), no jack had something that placed him above and beyond. you see jack knew the unknowable... he alone held the greatest secret in the universe
morphine: being?
dave: he knew what made george bush stay popular with the american public!!
morphine: no!
dave: revealing that which can not be known screams of dieing salesmen fills the room and jack escapes with his credit rating in the nick of time
morphine: i see
dave: (sorry a friend call with a crisis)
morphine: no problem
Session Close (morphine): Tue Jan 21 21:16:57 2003
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