[warning - self indulgent rambling]
*sigh*. I don't think you can really write to these things without problems in your life. Now I've had my share of problems in the past, but I seem to have put them behind me. And now on the odd occasion I have something to say I realize that I don't feel like spreading my problem for the whole world to see. I think only those involved in a problem directly or those who offer the support should be made aware of it in the first place. However I'm in an odd mood and I think I'll just ramble for a while. Today in sociology class we looked at bullying and what it leads to (depression, even suicide). It is almost sickening how little most of the other outspoken students knew about the problem, how it felt and how it could affect the people involved. I suppose I was fairly outspoken about the crushing depression, the endless days that turn to grey and run together as life drops to a point it seems it can never recover from. I knew the motivations behind teen suicide, I knew the feelings of helplessness. Well it seems I'd been a little too outspoken, lol... the teacher pulled me aside afterwards and inquired about my life, was actually quite worried. Well no worries, I'm not suicidal or extremely depressed. I may have spent a good few years of my life in that bleak landscape, escape seeming impossible... depression is something we all expeariance once in a while but it is a strong emotion. Its when that fades into the grey I've been mentioning, trying to impress upon you. Thats what causes the suicides, the murders, the dysfunctional individuals. Even now I find myself occasionally suprised at how far I've managed to pull myself out of that hell, rebuild my life. I know I'm far from perfect but I'm working on it (a cliche if I've ever heard one), and I'd like to thank those who are reading this page... the friends that made it possible.
Well that does feel better, writing things where no one can possibly read them might be safer but not nearly as satisfying, even if guys are supposed to keep all that shit crammed up inside...
The Egocentric Dave
*sigh*. I don't think you can really write to these things without problems in your life. Now I've had my share of problems in the past, but I seem to have put them behind me. And now on the odd occasion I have something to say I realize that I don't feel like spreading my problem for the whole world to see. I think only those involved in a problem directly or those who offer the support should be made aware of it in the first place. However I'm in an odd mood and I think I'll just ramble for a while. Today in sociology class we looked at bullying and what it leads to (depression, even suicide). It is almost sickening how little most of the other outspoken students knew about the problem, how it felt and how it could affect the people involved. I suppose I was fairly outspoken about the crushing depression, the endless days that turn to grey and run together as life drops to a point it seems it can never recover from. I knew the motivations behind teen suicide, I knew the feelings of helplessness. Well it seems I'd been a little too outspoken, lol... the teacher pulled me aside afterwards and inquired about my life, was actually quite worried. Well no worries, I'm not suicidal or extremely depressed. I may have spent a good few years of my life in that bleak landscape, escape seeming impossible... depression is something we all expeariance once in a while but it is a strong emotion. Its when that fades into the grey I've been mentioning, trying to impress upon you. Thats what causes the suicides, the murders, the dysfunctional individuals. Even now I find myself occasionally suprised at how far I've managed to pull myself out of that hell, rebuild my life. I know I'm far from perfect but I'm working on it (a cliche if I've ever heard one), and I'd like to thank those who are reading this page... the friends that made it possible.
Well that does feel better, writing things where no one can possibly read them might be safer but not nearly as satisfying, even if guys are supposed to keep all that shit crammed up inside...
The Egocentric Dave
Labels: bullying, depression
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